Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can I color on your dick again?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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