People with herpes should wear stickers.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
