he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
