I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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