You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
