Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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