Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
