i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
