Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
