elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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