It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
