she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
