I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
