that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
