Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize