I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
