This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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