What did we do last night that was yellow?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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