HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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