is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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