I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
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Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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