Me too!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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