I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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