whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
