Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
