Rock
Scissors
Fuck
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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