she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
