im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
