My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
