I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
