I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
