all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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