yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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