She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize