Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
did i just pee glitter
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
