New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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