Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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