Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
