I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
