Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
