i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
