So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
