1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
