You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
