I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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