i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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