omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
