Where did you get a picture of my penis
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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