I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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