the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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