Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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