hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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