you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize