I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
