How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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