What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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