How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize