you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize