theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am mentally ready for anal.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
