Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
